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<blockquote data-quote="OB" data-source="post: 45740" data-attributes="member: 5011"><p>I think the top half is great, but maybe focussing on the second half and how we can simplify it and make it more focussed. The second half of your answer are two very long sentences. I’m the worst for long sentences but I think it really helps the readability of an answer to try and separate them. Idin Sabahipour says a bit about this towards the end of this video: </p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]Kn8jVdslNss[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>It would be great if you could focus on why Bird & Bird would benefit, and why OEMs (maybe this acronym needs explained in the answer) will benefit. You have the right idea in the answer already but I think stating it in simpler terms and succinct sentences would make it really snappy and attract Grad Rec’s attention. Also maybe name a client Bird & Bird works for or work they’ve done in this sector to prove why the firm has market-leading expertise.</p><p></p><p>Hope that helps!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OB, post: 45740, member: 5011"] I think the top half is great, but maybe focussing on the second half and how we can simplify it and make it more focussed. The second half of your answer are two very long sentences. I’m the worst for long sentences but I think it really helps the readability of an answer to try and separate them. Idin Sabahipour says a bit about this towards the end of this video: [MEDIA=youtube]Kn8jVdslNss[/MEDIA] It would be great if you could focus on why Bird & Bird would benefit, and why OEMs (maybe this acronym needs explained in the answer) will benefit. You have the right idea in the answer already but I think stating it in simpler terms and succinct sentences would make it really snappy and attract Grad Rec’s attention. Also maybe name a client Bird & Bird works for or work they’ve done in this sector to prove why the firm has market-leading expertise. Hope that helps! [/QUOTE]
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