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I admit it's a battle, especially when friends were meeting over Christmas and felt I couldn't.  It's a roller coaster feeling all of the time and I completely sympathise with everyone's sentiments. I feel the same.  I am confident that we will all get there in the end.  The very fact that we spend time on this forum discussing applications, looking for advice, seeking to be the very best we can be is an indication of how motivated and committed we all are.  And surely that is half of it!  Keep at it forum friends.