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<blockquote data-quote="Jaysen" data-source="post: 38545" data-attributes="member: 1">Throughout, note the firm is Bird &amp; Bird, rather than Bird and Bird. Also, be careful of missing/incorrect apostrophes, incorrect capitalisation (e.g. 'government'), and typos (e.g. 'the live sports business model will innovative').1. I feel we're taking quite vaguely in this answer. At the moment, I'm not convinced on why data is the biggest opportunity for Bird &amp; Bird's privacy and data protection practice area. On a similar note, I assume you mean something specific about 'data', rather than simply data on its own. We also seem to making some claims here e.g. 'which businesses will resist as they argue...', but I'm not sure how you are coming to those conclusions. I like the reference to a case, although I think it would help to be clearer as to how this backs up your argument that data will be the biggest opportunity for the privacy and data protection practice area.2. This seems like quite a niche topic as the greatest innovation to influence the firm in the next five years. This doesn't mean your topic is wrong, but I think we need to make a stronger case here, beyond the firm having represented clients in this area. We also make some vague/general statements here (about Bird &amp; Bird's need to prepare for lawsuits), which I'm not sure add much value to the answer.3. I think the example is very good. Try to replace vague phrases (e.g. optimum likelihood of success) with more specific detail. I also think we need to be clearer as to what obstacles you had to overcome. Finally, was there an outcome here?</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Jaysen, post: 38545, member: 1"] Throughout, note the firm is Bird [B]&[/B] Bird, rather than Bird [B]and[/B] Bird. Also, be careful of missing/incorrect apostrophes, incorrect capitalisation (e.g. 'government'), and typos (e.g. 'the live sports business model will innovative'). 1. I feel we're taking quite vaguely in this answer. At the moment, I'm not convinced on why data is the biggest opportunity for Bird & Bird's privacy and data protection practice area. On a similar note, I assume you mean something specific about 'data', rather than simply data on its own. We also seem to making some claims here e.g. 'which businesses will resist as they argue...', but I'm not sure how you are coming to those conclusions. I like the reference to a case, although I think it would help to be clearer as to how this backs up your argument that data will be the biggest opportunity for the privacy and data protection practice area. 2. This seems like quite a niche topic as the greatest innovation to influence the firm in the next five years. This doesn't mean your topic is wrong, but I think we need to make a stronger case here, beyond the firm having represented clients in this area. We also make some vague/general statements here (about Bird & Bird's need to prepare for lawsuits), which I'm not sure add much value to the answer. 3. I think the example is very good. Try to replace vague phrases (e.g. optimum likelihood of success) with more specific detail. I also think we need to be clearer as to what obstacles you had to overcome. Finally, was there an outcome here? [/QUOTE]

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