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Sure! I've actually been working on this myself recently as it's a huge weak point of mine, and I really like how Vanessa Van Edwards deals with the topic. She's written a few books and has a website/YouTube channel - her interview on Diary of a CEO was fantastic and I'd highly recommend.She argues that being successful socially involves projecting the correct levels of 1) warmth and 2) competence. People who come across as warm but not competent are overlooked and respected less than they should be, people who come across as competent but not warm may find it tough to emotionally connect with people, and people who come across as neither struggle the most.Understanding where you fall on the spectrum and how to develop your own warmth and competence can really help. VVE discusses 'cues', i.e. body language signals which help convey these qualities. These are really effective. She also discusses how to carry conversations with people, which is another key element of connecting with others.There are lots of different 'gurus' in this area and this model might not resonate with you - if so, keep looking for one that does! My key point is that there are concrete steps you can take to improve how well you come across to others. This requires a lot of practice and sometimes embarrassing yourself as you figure it out, but that's the nature of getting better at anything, particularly something inherently social.
Sure! I've actually been working on this myself recently as it's a huge weak point of mine, and I really like how Vanessa Van Edwards deals with the topic. She's written a few books and has a website/YouTube channel - her interview on Diary of a CEO was fantastic and I'd highly recommend.
She argues that being successful socially involves projecting the correct levels of 1) warmth and 2) competence. People who come across as warm but not competent are overlooked and respected less than they should be, people who come across as competent but not warm may find it tough to emotionally connect with people, and people who come across as neither struggle the most.
Understanding where you fall on the spectrum and how to develop your own warmth and competence can really help. VVE discusses 'cues', i.e. body language signals which help convey these qualities. These are really effective. She also discusses how to carry conversations with people, which is another key element of connecting with others.
There are lots of different 'gurus' in this area and this model might not resonate with you - if so, keep looking for one that does! My key point is that there are concrete steps you can take to improve how well you come across to others. This requires a lot of practice and sometimes embarrassing yourself as you figure it out, but that's the nature of getting better at anything, particularly something inherently social.