Ah this process is getting too much now. Really considering if I am just wasting my time and will never succeed. Constant rejections just coming in and I am not sure what more I can do. I feel like I constantly see one type of person succeed in this process and that will never be me. As someone from an underrepresented background I also feel like the vac scheme I was unable to convert was my only chance and I blew it. Can't even get to an AC since. I feel like a loser when UNIVERSITY students are securing top TCs and I am here as a grad begging firms cycle after cycle. Probably just not good enough either and need a reality check, haha.
Hey!
I'm really sorry that you're feeling like this - it is an incredibly tough process, and it has a way of grinding people down, especially when you are doing everything right and still facing rejections. That doesn't mean you are wasting your time, and it definitely doesn't mean you're not good enough!
It's completely understandable to feel demoralised when you see undergraduates securing TCs while you're still applying as a graduate, but these outcomes are rarely a simple measure of ability. Unfortunately, parts of the process come down to things such as luck and timing, which can definitely make it incredibly frustrating.
I can completely understand where you are coming from in relation to your vacation scheme - I didn't convert any of my vacation schemes last cycle for a multitude of reasons, and this definitely made me feel slightly lost as I had convinced myself that they were my only chances of success. However, it's important to remember that whilst it may not have been the end result that you wanted, you have still gained incredibly valuable experience which you will be able to carry with you moving forward. Although I didn't receive a TC offer from my vacation schemes, I was able to draw on those experiences in my DTC assessment centre which ultimately led to my TC offer - sometimes, things don't work out the way that you necessarily planned them to.
Additionally, coming from an underrepresented background can make the path feel lonelier and more uncertain, but it doesn't mean you don't belong in the profession. As the first in my family to go to university and a non-RG graduate, I've experienced imposter syndrome more times than I can count, so I completely understand how easy it is to internalise setbacks. You are clearly more than deserving of a place in the profession - your success in securing a vacation scheme alone is strong evidence of your ability, and shows that firms see potential in you.
You're absolutely not a loser for finding this hard. This process
is very hard. I would try to give yourself some grace, and step back if you need to! It helped me to focus on the elements that were within my control, such as taking feedback seriously where it was available and to keep refining my approach.
Please don't lose sight of how far you've already come. Getting this close in such a competitive process is not an accident or a fluke, and it is a strong indication that you have what firms are looking for, even if the timing has not worked yet. Keep going at a pace that's sustainable for you - the right opportunity can arrive later than expected or planned, but it
does arrive.
Wishing you the best
