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Discussion in 'Public Feedback Forum' started by Jaysen, Dec 8, 2018.

  1. Jaysen

    Jaysen Legendary Member
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    Hi All,

    Welcome to the public feedback forum. This forum is for members to receive feedback on their draft applications from the community.

    This forum is for you if:
    • You want help phrasing a sentence
    • You want to know if you're approaching a question correctly
    • You want advice on how to improve an answer
    • You want general feedback on your draft application
    • You want feedback on a draft before eventually sending it in to the TCLA team.
    Credit to @John Wu for suggesting this idea!
     
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  2. Tom L

    Tom L Well-Known Member

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    Hi guys,

    Would anyone mind giving me any tips on improving my 'why commercial law' answer?

    I am conscious that at the moment I have taken the approach of describing what I have learned from experiences and from those trying to explain why I find commercial law appealing. Maybe I could take a slightly different approach for one of the paragraphs?

    Any comments at all would be greatly welcomed! I have attached my answer as well as including it below:


    "Why have you chosen a career in commercial law? 250 words 244

    My interest in law was sparked whilst working for Spark44, Land Rover’s in-house marketing agency. During that time, I learned about the challenges facing Land Rover when aligning a ‘Best of British’ global campaign to the local advertising regulations in Beijing. I found it fascinating to understand the intersection between law and business as commercial solicitors help to provide certainty on some of the most technically and politically complex business issues, such as western businesses’ advertising rights in China.

    At Elevate, I executed cross-border projects for a diverse set of legal clients to improve their operational efficiency and profitability. I learned that there are lots of different teams, such as real estate and IP, as well as project managers and pricing teams that contribute to corporate transactions being successfully delivered for clients. This is appealing because I believe the teamwork and organisation skills I developed as a consultant will be utilised in managing the corporate transactions, such as collating conditions precedent documents.

    As a paralegal at BT, I have worked on multi-jurisdictional commercial disputes and AML investigations. I have found it interesting to understand that sometimes the best advice lawyers can give companies, such as BT, is how to avoid potential disputes through effective corporate governance and risk management. This involves understanding a company’s business structure, assessing the potential issues that may arise, and taking steps to protect against these. My interests lie in learning how global companies strategise, compete and solve cross-border issues."
     

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  3. Jaysen

    Jaysen Legendary Member
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    I think your approach is great. Well justified.

    A couple of suggestions:
    • Paragraph 2: Consider expanding on your reasons for why working as a team was appealing. You've set up the point very well - talking about how you worked with a diverse set of clients - but could you say anything else about why this attracted you to commercial law beyond being able to utilise your skills?
    • Paragraph 3: In your second sentence, you say "I have found it interesting to understand [XYZ]". Consider expanding on why you found it interesting in your third sentence, rather than explaining what lawyers must understand.
     
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